HUMOUR


    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    * You have 2 cows.
    * You sell 1 and buy a bull.
    * Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    * You sell them and retire on the income. AMERICAN CAPITALISM
    * You have 2 cows.
    * You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on 1 more. Sell 1 cow to buy influence with a new president of the United States, leaving you with 9 cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull. FRENCH CAPITALISM
    * You have 2 cows.
    * You go on strike because you want 3 cows. JAPANESE CAPITALISM
    * You have 2 cows.
    * You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk.
    * You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide. GERMAN CAPITALISM
    * You have 2 cows.
    * You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. BRITISH CAPITALISM
    * You have 2 cows.
    * Both are mad. ITALIAN CAPITALISM
    * You have 2 cows, but you don’t know where they are.
    * You break for lunch. SWISS CAPITALISM
    * You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
    * You charge others for storing them. CHINESE CAPITALISM
    * You have 2 cows.
    * You have 300 people milking them.
    * You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers. NEW ZEALAND CAPITALISM
    * You have 2 cows.
    * That one on the left is kinda cute…